You cannot hate yourself into health

Self Care

You know those people who radiate supreme health, their skin glows, their bodies are firm and strong (relative to age), their hair shiny and eyes bright. They are beaming with energy and you feel drawn to look at them or be around them? 

I want to give away their best secret. It’s not how many push-ups they do, it’s not the ingredients in their green smoothie and it’s not the name of any cosmetic surgeon, doctor, naturopath or acupuncturist. 


This kind of health and indeed beauty comes from within 


It comes from a genuine self-love that motivates them to take care of their bodies in ways that move them constantly in the direction of health, energy preserving and promoting activities and choices that reflect their highest potential rather than quick fixes. 

This person can be any age, vary in size and shape but as a whole being they have the X-factor. They look amazing and feel great to be around. When you talk to them they are listening, engaged and interested in you. They have healthy boundaries and are comfortable with saying NO to things that don’t make them feel good. They appear relaxed and happy as if it’s their natural state.

In fact is has become their natural state. They have learned to place health and happiness at the top of their priorities. It has become an underlying value guiding their life choices and it comes from genuinely believing they are worthy of this. 

I hope you’ve all met one of these folks or at least been in their radiant aura. 

On the flip side there are a lot of people out there who talk the talk but do not walk health from a genuine place of self-love. There are many who pose with the acai bowl, talk up the latest plant based regime, can bend over double while hanging off a clifftop, and take a lot of selfies while thinking with their eyes closed (not meditation). The tendency is to take this at face value and see it as ‘health’.

But do be cautious of this, of what you see out there in social media, in mainstream media and in advertisements for programs and products that promise the world. Much of this is coming from a very different place. One of insecurity, a need for approval and a lack of what I believe to be the primary ingredient to true health, SELF-LOVE.  

However we are all on a journey and my wish for those who portray one thing but struggle with demons within is that eventually they too find the secret sauce and when they do, everything falls into place. 


How a lack of self-love holds you back in your health goals


Many of my clients come to work with me not for a lack of knowledge about health or a lack of trying different approaches. In fact most of them know a lot about nutrition, natural approaches and medical approaches to their particular conditions. 

Many of my clients are already working with a team of great people – body workers such as osteopaths, chiropractors or physiotherapists, naturopaths or nutritionists, a good GP and even kinesiologists or TCM practitioners. 

They have the right professionals around them and they have the knowledge at their fingertips. They know where they are now and they know where they want to be in their health.

But what’s stopping them from getting there? 

Thoughts, feelings, emotional wounds and old patterning. That’s what. 


You really cannot hate yourself into health


By telling yourself that you are too fat, too skinny, too old, too much, not enough, too tired, too sick you are talking yourself further away from your health goals. By focusing on how poor your digestive system is functioning and how bloated you are 24/7 you are talking yourself into more of the same. 

The Law of Attraction says we get more of what we focus on and unfortunately many beautiful, capable people out there aren’t seeing their own light and potential and continue to loop over the same old stories about themselves. This often goes on for years before we begin to question why nothing is changing. 

Sometimes it does change for a time. We can all probably relate to a time in our lives when we suddenly found the motivation and will power to stick to a regime or exercise plan and saw significant results. Immediately I am thinking of the number of soon-to-be brides whom suddenly develop the drive of a professional athlete 8 weeks out from their wedding. 

And then what? 

Slowly but surely old ways set in and even older mental chatter that begins to wear down the enthusiasm and discipline needed to maintain the changes. When you flog yourself into shape from any reason other than self-love the results are often temporary. The underlying issues remain the same. 

And now it becomes even more of an uphill battle because we have ‘failure’ to maintain health goals now atop our already waylaid inner critic. It saddens me when I hear people stuck in a loop of comparison from where they are now (not happy) to when they were the right size/ shape/ or health state (not truly deeply happy either but temporarily quite pleased with themselves). This comparing yourself to a better, younger, fitter (golden age) YOU is not helpful dear ones. 

If you are feeling a heavy hearted resonance reading this please don’t despair. It’s not the end of the road, you don’t need to repeat this cycle if you choose not to. Support is available, muster a good team to help you with the nuts and bolts of your plan and if you need help to get that inner pilot light (to borrow Lissa Rankin’s phrase) re-lit please reach out.